- Recovery, Social Nudity

My First Visit To Rock Haven Lodge

Taking the Plunge

I made up my mind that I was going to visit Rock Haven Lodge, the local nudist park, at least once.  I watched the weather each week-end.  If I was only going to go one time, then I wanted to make the experience as perfect as possible.  The week-end of August 21-22 looked perfect.  Hot and sunny.  I decided that I would visit on Sunday, Aug 21.

I read everything I can on their website, because I didn’t want to break any rules they may have, but I still have questions, such as, are lockers available … Read the rest

- Depression, Recovery, Social Nudity

My Bucket List

What is a Bucket List?

No one knows for certain how the name “Bucket List” came to be.  The most popular belief is that it refers to when a person dies, or “Kicks the Bucket”.  A bucket list is a list of things a person wants to do, or accomplish, before they die.  They place these items in the “Bucket” as goals.  My bucket list is fairly short.  Before I ever heard the term Bucket List, I had already accomplished a lot of my goals.  I went skydiving (which, ironically led to my Traumatic Brain Injury and depression), learned to … Read the rest

- Depression, Recovery

A Friend Becomes A LifeSaver

I Remember a Friend

About a week after I got out I was feeling depressed and helpless.  Then I remembered that I had a friend, LTG Keith Huber, who may be able to help.  He is a retired Army Lieutenant General.  He is now the Senior Military Advisor to the veterans at a local University.  As soon as he accepted that position, he went to work, with the help of Charlie Daniels and The Journey Home Project, to create the Charlie and Hazel Daniels Veterans and Military Family Center.  This center provides veterans with all of the resources … Read the rest

- Depression, Traumatic Brain Injury


I Don’t Know What To Do

After I left the psychiatric ward I felt incredibly free.  I also felt incredibly frustrated.  I was angry for what they did to me.  I was even angrier knowing that my fellow veterans, my brothers and sisters, were at their mercy.  They weren’t getting the kind of care that they deserved.  I was frustrated because I want to fix the problem, but I don’t have the means to bring about that change.  Who am I?  Nobody.  Nobody is going to listen to me.  I turned to a lesson that I learned from my mother.  … Read the rest

- Depression, Migraine, Traumatic Brain Injury

Discharge or Escape?

Out of the Abyss

They got us up at 6 AM, I got my tray, cleaned up, returned my tray, and then went up to the Nurse’s Station.  I informed Nurse Ratched that I was checking out, and asked what I needed to do.  She told me she would inform my psychiatrist as she needed a discharge order from her.  Next I got in line for medication.  I told the nurse there was an order for something for my migraine.  She looked and told me that there was no order for me, but she could give me Tylenol.  What, no … Read the rest

- Depression, Migraine, Traumatic Brain Injury, Uncategorized

Incompetence Continues, and Paranoia Sets In

Group Therapy

After my wife left, I attended 3 required group therapy sessions.  I don’t consider them group therapy, but as disseminating information to a group of people.  The sessions were, conflict avoidance, how to tell if you’re making good decisions, and one so memorable I can’t remember what it was about.  I just know it didn’t have anything to do with my problems.  My idea of a group therapy session is you sit down with a group of patients.  You talk about their problems, and lead the group in how to solve these problems.  You refer back to previous … Read the rest

- Depression, Migraine, Traumatic Brain Injury

My Crisis Begins

Migraine Alert!

After lunch it was back to the dayroom to sit.  I tried to sleep, but I couldn’t.  Around 4 PM I was getting a headache, so I went to the Nurse’s Station and asked Nurse Ratched (not her real name), if they had any Extra Strength Excedrin, as I had a headache.  A little bit of background here.  I get headaches every day, without exception.  This has been going on ever since I received my TBI in 1975.  I have been prescribed several medications for them, and they would work for a while, and then they wouldn’t.  The … Read the rest

- Depression, Traumatic Brain Injury

In the Abyss

I Become an Inpatient

Monday morning, July 31, 2017, my wife drove me to the Veteran’s Administration hospital.  We found Rip, and he took us to the emergency room.  This is where they do intake for the mental patients who are being admitted.  To say I was nervous was an understatement.  I had NO idea what would be happening, I just had to experience it as it happened.

First, they had me change into the hospital pajamas.  The only items that I was allowed to bring into the psychiatric ward with me were 3 t-shirts, 3 pair of socks, and … Read the rest

- Depression, Suicide, Traumatic Brain Injury

Into the Abyss

I Consider Becoming an Inpatient

The Effexor didn’t do anything to ease my depression.  It did, however, keep me awake at night.  I took it first thing in the morning, and went I went to bed at night I would just lie there.  They had also prescribed Melatonin for me, but with the Effexor it didn’t help.  For the next month and a half I averaged about 3 hours sleep a night.

The combination of the medication not working, and the loss of sleep, made my depression worse.  Toward the end of July, an incident happened that made me decide … Read the rest

- Depression, Suicide, Traumatic Brain Injury

About Me and my Journey – Part 3


I started therapy, but I didn’t believe it would do me any good.  I’m stubborn and I don’t listen to anyone.  I was right.  As I said, I loved talking with Dr. Hadley (not her real name).  I could tell her anything.  She diagnosed me as having moderate to severe depression with suicidal ideations.  My risk for suicide was moderate to low.  I told her I thought about it every day, and I had a plan on how I would do it.  I also explained that I would never do it because 1.  I don’t believe in suicide, and … Read the rest