It’s been a long winter. I hate cold weather with a passion. As you well know, I love to be nude, and that is nearly impossible during cold weather. Even in my house I have to stay dressed, or else my ridiculously high electric bill will be even higher. During the winter I tend to avoid going out of the house unless it is absolutely necessary. I leave the house to go to work, and to go to the store to buy necessities. Thank God for Amazon. If I can buy it on Amazon, and don’t have to leave the house, I do it. But, this is not great for my mental health.
By the end of last year I believe the VA finally got me on the correct medication, and the correct dose. The suicidal thoughts don’t come nearly as often, although they are still there. I still have trouble concentrating, and at times I still get confused. It is not as bad as it was last year. After my experience with the VA psychiatric ward I started to see a civilian therapist. After 3 visits she told me she couldn’t do any more to help me. This just confirmed my opinion that talking with others does not help me. With all of the therapists I have talked to I have opened up to them, and told them things that I never told anyone else my entire life.
I’m still seeing a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner at the VA, but this is so he can prescribe my medication for me. He still has to assess my mental health at each visit. I’m very careful in what information that I give to him, and he knows this. I know that he has a obligation, if he ever suspects that I am a danger to myself or others, to take action. I understand that, which is why I have told him that I will never reveal to him if I have thoughts about actually harming myself. I will never be a danger to others, I couldn’t do that. Never again will I ever be committed to a psychiatric ward, either voluntarily or involuntarily.
Looking Forward to the Summer!
I am anxiously awaiting the time that Rock Haven Lodge opens up for the 2018 season. When I spend time there in the sun my mood improves immensely. Being able to spend one day a week there in the summertime has saved my life. Over the winter I have been developing a new website for them. I am not the most creative person in the world, but I have had help from an Illustrator/Graphic Artist that I met at Rock Haven. His work is fantastic. Every time I see a piece that he has created I think “Norman Rockwell!”. A few week-ends back I went out to Rock Haven to take updated photos of the rentals they have. While it was too cold to be able to be nude while doing it, just being there brought a calm over me. I’m excited about launching a new website for them, and I’m anxious to get feedback from the guests who visit Rock Haven to see what they think.
4 more weeks until Rock Haven opens. I’m praying for warm weather!